Facebook Witty quotes and updates 6

Anger is one letter short of danger.

One death is one too many.

Life's not all bad. Look into somebody's eyes, you'll see that they're a person just like you, they also have good and bad feelings, hopes and dreams.

If you love somebody, they shouldn't make you cry, they should be worth crying over.

Lots of things change...lots of them don't...but the fact that I love you...that will always stay the same.

"I'm going to live life or die trying"

 i'm sugar and spice and everything nice if u wanna mess with me u better think twice

"We are the music makers and we are the dreamers of dreams."

"We didn’t lose.....we just ran out of time"~unknown

"Here officer, hold my beer while I find my license."

"You will be aroused by a shampoo comercial."--Homer J. Simpson

If you die, I'll kill you!"

There are some days when I just don't feel like talking..

Today is that day.

Life is not measured by the number of breathes we take, but by the number of moments that take our breath away.

The only reason that I talk to myself is because that I'm the only one whose answers I accept.

"Find a guy that adores you and not one that you adore!!" MOM

Learn from the mistakes of others, because you can't live long enough to make them all yourself.

Trust your instincts and listen to your friends, because they may be right when you don't want them to be

"Birdie, birdie, in the sky, why'd you do that in> my eye? Looks like sugar, tastes like sap. OMG! IT'S BIRDIE CRAP!"

"Inside this body lies that of a skinny lady.  But I> can usually shut her up with chocolate.".

They say the truth will set you free. But then why is it> that every time I tell the truth I get sent to my room?.

"When you pee in a toilet, you wipe the seat; when you> pee in the woods, you wipe your feet!".

Men are like pennies: two-faced and worthless.

Love is like heaven but hurts like hell.>

" Look up for inspiration, down for concentration but don’t look side to side for information".

You tried, and you failed, so the lesson is, never try. -> Homer J. Simpson.

"Is tuna really Chicken?" - Jessica Simpson, after reading "Tuna, Chicken of the sea">

"I did my homework! I just forgot to write it down." –Anonymous

"Dying is just natures way of saying 'Hey! Your> not alive anymore!'"

Roses are red, violets are blue, please flush the toilet, after you.

"Some people drink from the fountain of knowledge, others just gurgle."

 "When they put unknown at the end of a quote, that means they probably don't no how to spell 

"I'll kill you until you die!!"

"They misunderestimated me!" -George W. Bush"

"I'm not scared of dying, I just don't want to!"

"Dilbert's Words of Wisdom: You're slower than a herd of turtles stampeding through peanut butter."

"I tried sniffing coke once, but the ice cubes stuck in my nose"

"The whole world is going to hell and I'm driving the bus"

"I tried sniffing coke once, but the ice cubes stuck in my nose"

"Don't criticize my mess unless you'd like to become part of it."

"I have a mind like a steel trap; it is rusty and illegal in 47 states"

"A good essay is 10% inspiration, 15% perspiration, and 75% desperation"

"It is not MY fault that I never learned to accept responsibility"!

I'm an angel, honest! The horns are just there to keep the halo straight

If you sprinkle when you tinkle, be a sweetie and wipe the seatie!!

"There's nothing wrong with being a loser, it just depends on how good you are at it."

If at first you don't succeed, cheat, repeat until caught, and then lie!

Thank-you for visiting reality, come again........... Now entering your life, welcome

The entire world's a stage; I didn't get cast! Consciousness- that annoying time between naps Suburbia - where they cut down trees and name streets after them

"Behind every good man there is a good woman and behind that another man looking at her ass"

I love him, O yes I do, He's for me, not for you, And if by chance you take my place, I'll take my fist and smash your face!

"God made mud, God made dirt, God made guys so girls could flirt!"

Do not meddle in the affairs of dragons!For you are crunchy And taste good with ketchup

Guys are like lava lamps there fun to look at just not so bright!

"Loves a two-way street and I think your car just died"

Guys are like lava lamps there fun to look at just not so bright!

"Loves a two-way street and I think your car just died"

Guys are like lava lamps there fun to look at just not so bright!

It takes 42 muscels to smile, so instead pick up your middle finger and say bite me in a bitchy tone!

Every morning is the dawn of a new error Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder

Sign on baby's bib: SPIT HAPPENS

I can see clearly now, the brain is gone... Mental Floss prevents Moral Decay

Look out for #1. Don't step in #2 either Copywight 1994 Elmer Fudd. All wights wesewved

Dain bramaged

Buy a Pentium 586/90 so you can reboot faster Access denied--nah nah na nah nah!

Ethernet (n): something used to catch the ether-bunny Beware of programmers who carry screwdriver

OUT TO LUNCH: IF NOT BACK BY FIVE, OUT FOR DINNER ALSO

A repair shop: WE CAN REPAIR ANYTHING. (PLEASE KNOCK HARD ON THE DOOR - THE BELL DOESN'T WORK)

A Laundromat: PLEASE REMOVE ALL YOUR CLOTHING WHEN THE LIGHT GOES OUT

All your base are belong to us

May the smile on your face Come straight from your heart

Never forget what a man says to you when he is angry

Maybe this world is another planet's hell

 A friend is someone who is there for you when he'd rather be somewhere else

Life is what happens while you're busy making other plans

Most good judgement comes from experience.Most experience comes from bad judgement.

You can't cheat an honest man

One slip, and down the hole we fall

It seems to take no time at all

Does the noise in my head bother you?

I know a million ways To always pick the wrong thing to say

I must be an acrobat To talk like this and act like that

Every rose has its thorn.

Sister Luck is screaming somebody else's name

It's no secret that a friend is someone who lets you help

It's no secret that a liar won't believe in anyone else

"I love deadlines. I like the whooshing sound as they fly by."- Douglas Adams.

"Unus, sed leo!" [One, but a lion!] - Aisopos (Fabulae 194).

"»Stay« is a charming word in a friend's vocabulary." - Bronson Allcott.

"Karate is a form of martial arts in which people who have had years and years of training can, using only their hands and feet, make some of the worst movies in the history of the world." - Dave Barry.

"Committee - a group of men who keep minutes and waste hours." - M. Berle.

"Too bad all the people who know how to run the country are busy driving taxicabs and cutting hair." - George Burns.

"An expert is one who knows more and more about less and less." - Nicholas Murray Butler.

"Always carry a flagon of whiskey in case of snakebite and furthermore always carry a small snake." - W.C. Fields.