Silence is Golden, but shouting is fun.
The World Is Full Of Asses Your Just The Biggest
"The difference between genius and stupidity is that genius has its limits."
"If you cant dazzle them with brilliance, baffle them with bull"
"Life is a role of toilet paper; long and useful"
The difference between a bad golfer and a bad skydiver is this: A bad golfer goes **WHACK** DANG! A bad skydiver goes DANG! **WHACK**"
"I love humanity. It's people I can't stand."
"Anybody here who believes in telekinesis, raise my hand."
"I got lost in thought. It was unfamiliar territory."
All my hard work has boiled down to two things "May I take your order" and "Would you like fries with that"
Humpty Dumpty sat on the wall, Humpty Dumpty had a great fall, and all the kings’ horses and all the kings’ men...ate scrambled eggs for 2 weeks
Born in heaven, raised in hell
A heart is not a plaything A heart is not a toy But if u want it broken Just give it to a boy
Beauty is just a light switch away!
Auntie ‘Em: Hate you, Hate Kansas, taking the dog~Dorothy
"I am not short, I just don't have to bend down as far"
I have the body of a god... unfortunately its Buddha -Abigail Silverman-
"Time flies like an arrow, while fruit flies like a banana."
If you are going to send someone to save the world, make sure they like it the way it is. - Xander in the movie XXX stupid qoutes
"Sure there have been injuries and deaths in boxing - but none of them serious." - Alan Minter, Boxer
"I think that the film Clueless was very deep. I think it was deep in the way that it was very light. I think lightness has to come from a very deep place if it's true lightness."- Alicia Silverstone, Actress
"How to store your baby walker: First, remove baby." - Anonymous Manufacturer
"This is no longer a slum> neighborhood. I haven't heard of a Cubs fan being shot in a long time." -Anonymous Wrigley Field Neighbor, Chicago, I
"During the scrimmage, Tarkanian paced the sideline with his hands in his pockets while biting his nails." - AP report describing Fresno State basketball coach Jerry Tarkanian
"Two grand slams in a week - man, that's seven or eight ribbies right there."- Bill Madlock, Baseball broadcaster
"You guys line up alphabetically by height." - Bill Peterson, Florida State football coach
"Men, I want you just thinking of one word all season. One word and one word only: Super
Bowl." - Bill Peterson, football coach
"The internet is a great way to get on the net." - Bob Dole, Republican presidential candidate
"I get to go to lots of overseas places, like Canada." - Britney Spears, Pop Singer
"Most cars on our roads have only one occupant, usually the driver." - Carol Malia, BBC Anchorwoman
"The team has come along slow but fast." - Casey Stengel, Baseball player/manager
"I think the team that wins Game 5 will win the series. Unless we lose Game 5." - Charles Barkley, NBA Basketball Player
"China is a big country, inhabited by many Chinese." - Charles De Gaulle, former French President
"Football players win football games." - Chuck Knox, football coach
"Most lies about blondes are false." - Cincinnati Times-Star, headline
"If you give a person a fish, they'll fish for a day. But if you train a person to fish, they'll fish for a lifetime." - Dan Quayle, former U.S. Vice President
"It is wonderful to be here in the great state of Chicago" - Dan Quayle, former U.S. Vice-President
"It's time for the human race to enter the solar system!" - Dan Quayle, former U.S. Vice President on the concept of a manned mission to Mars
"I love California, I practically grew up in Phoenix." - Dan Quayle, former U.S. Vice President
"Strangely, in slow motion replay, the ball seemed to hang in the air for even longer." - David Acfield
I haven't committed a crime. What I did was fail to comply with the law." - David Dinkins, New York City Mayor, answering accusations that he failed to pay his taxes.
"The only reason we're 7-0 is because we've won all seven of our games." - David Garcia, baseball team manager
"Sit by the homely girl, you'll look better by comparison." - Debra Maffett, Miss America 1983
"We don't like their sound. Groups of guitars are on the way out." - Decca Records Rejecting the Beatles, in 1962
"Chemistry is a class you take in high school or college, where you figure out two plus two is 10, or something." - Dennis Rodman, NBA Basketball player, on Chicago Bull's team chemistry being overrated
"We're just physically not physical enough." - Denny Crum, Louisville basketball coach
"Weather forecast: precipitation in the morning, rain in the afternoon." - Detroit Daily News
"The doctors X-rayed my head and found nothing." - Dizzy Dean explaining how he felt after being hit on the
head by a ball in the 1934 World Series.
"Can you get a ticket for running a stop sign that is not there?" - Driver school applicant
"The world is more like it is now then it ever has before." - Dwight Eisenhower
"A billion here, a billion there, sooner or later it adds up to real money." - Everett Dirksen, Congressman
"Boxing’s all about getting the job done as quickly as possible, whether it takes 10 or 15 or 20 rounds." - Frank Bruno, Boxer
"The streets are safe in Philadelphia. It's only the people who make them unsafe." - Frank Rizzo, ex-police chief and mayor of Philadelphia.
I have opinions of my own --strong opinions-- but I don't always agree with them." - George Bush, former U.S. President
"It is white." - George W. Bush, when asked what the White house was like by a student in East London
"If it weren't for electricity we'd all be watching television by candlelight." - George Gobel
"If you think is was an accident, applaud." - Geraldo Rivera, talk show host, to his audience on Natalie Wood's drowning
"I cannot tell you how grateful I am -- I am filled with humidity." - Gib Lewis, speaker of the Texas House
"Does the album have any songs you like that aren't on it? - Harry News, music reviewer
"Coming on to pitch is Mike Moore, who is six-foot-one and 212 years old."- Herb Score, Sportscaster
"I do not like this word "bomb." It is not a bomb. It is a device that is exploding." - Jacques le Blanc, French ambassador on nuclear weapons
"I don't want to ever, ever do something in life that isn't fun. Ever."- Jennifer Love Hewitt, Actress, in the February Cosmopolitan.
"We're going to move left and right at the same time." - Jerry Brown, Governor of California
"I have a God-given talent. I got it from my dad."- Julian Wakefield, Missouri basketball player
"Traditionally, most of Australia's imports come from overseas."- Former Australian cabinet minister Keppel Enderbery
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