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Witty Quotes And Updates 11

If I had a rose for every time I thought of you, I would be walking through my garden forever.

If I were to borrow your glasses, could I see you home?

If it weren't for that DAMNED sun, you'd be the hottest thing ever created.

If nostalgia was white and passion was black, my love for you would be a little chessboard

If this bar is a meat market, you must be the prime rib.

If water were beauty you'd be the ocean.

If you know a person's name: "Hi, [name]."

How did you know my name? "Isn't every beautiful girl named that?"

If you were a booger I'd pick you first.

If you were a chicken, you'd be impeccable.

If you were a laser, you'd be set on "stunning".

If you were a library book, I would check you out.

If you were a new hamburger at McDonald's, you would be McGorgeous.

If you were a tear in my eye I would not cry for fear of losing you.

If you were ice cream and I were hot chocolate I'd pour all my love onto you.

I'm addicted to yes, and I'm allergic to no. So what's it gonna be?

I'm feeling kind of insecure right now. Could I have a hug?

I'm invisible. (Really?) Can you see me? (Yes) How about tomorrow night?

I'm looking for a friend...do you want to be my friend?

I'm new in town. Could you give me directions to your apartment?

I'm not drunk, I'm just intoxicated by you.

I'm sick. My medicine is to talk to you.

I'm sorry, were you talking to me? Her: No. Well then, please start.

I'm the kind of man who deserves to have women I don't deserve.

I'm wearing Revlon colourstay lipstick, want to help me test the claim it won't kiss off?

Inheriting twenty million bucks doesn't mean much when you have a weak heart.

Is it hot in here, or is it just you?

Is that baby oil on your forehead? Cause you shine like an angel.

Is there a rainbow today? I just found the treasure I've been searching for!

Is there an airport nearby or is that my heart taking off?

Is your daddy a thief? ["No."] Then how did he steal the sparkle of the stars and put it in your eyes? [Be ready with a snappy answer in case they say "yes."]

Is your name Gillette? Because you're the best a man can get

It must be a day off in heaven for an angel like you to be amongst us.

It must be dark outside. 'Cause all the sunshine in the world is right here.

It's always good for you to see me again. It's my birthday! How about a birthday kiss? [Is it really your birthday?]

No, but how about a kiss anyway?

It's not my fault I fell in love. You are the one that tripped me.

I've been noticing you not noticing me.

I've gotta thirst, baby, and you smell like my Gatorade.

I've had quite a bit to drink, and you're beginning to look pretty good.

Just where do those legs of yours end? Know what I like best about you baby? You haven't maced me yet.

Let's make like a Fabric softener and Snuggle

Let's make out so I can see if you taste as good as you look.

Life without you would be like a broken pencil...pointless.

Like the sheets on your bed I want cover you with love.

Listen to this: my buddies over there said that I wouldn't be able to start a conversation with the most beautiful boy/girl in the bar. Wanna buy some drinks with some of their money? [Look at his/her shirt label. When they say, "What are you doing?", say

"Checking to see if you were made in heaven." Man, you sure are bright girl! Were you raised by the stars?

Man: "Would you like to dance?" Woman:(looks at> you up and down) "No thank you." Man: "Sorry, you must've misunderstood me. I said: "you look fat in those pants!"

Man: excuse me did you just feel my ass? Girl: no you: why not?

Man:"Girl, you are so rude!" Girl:"How am I being rude?" Man:"Because you're looking so fine and not telling me you're name."

Many people will walk in and out of your life. But only lovers will leave a footprint on your heart. And you my dear have left one great leap on mine!

May I have the distinguished honor and privilege of sitting next to you?

Miss, you made my heart stop...

My leech would like you as a new host.

My lenses turn dark in the sunshine of your love. My lips are registered weapons. Can I invade your personal space?

My love for you is like diarrhea, I just can't hold it in.

My love for you is like the energizer bunny, it keeps going and going.

My name isn't Elmo, but you can tickle me anytime you want to.

My psychiatrist sent me for an MRI because she thinks I have a magnetic personality.

Nice to meet you, I'm (your name) and you are...gorgeous!

Oh my god, I thought I was gay... then I met you.

Oh no, I'm choking! I need mouth to mouth, quick!

Ok, I'm here, what do you want for your next wish?

Oooh, you're lookin' fine. Not in the good way, in the "you'll do" way. (Open and close wallet quickly) Here's my "Fine Arts Connoisseur" diploma.

You sure are a masterpiece.  Pardon me, but what pickup line works best with you? (Person walks in, and you say:) And out of nowhere comes the sunshine!

Pick up a pack of sugar that actually says, "sugar" on it and say, "You dropped your nametag!".

Picture this, you, me, bubble baths, and a bottle of champagne.

Pinch me. "Why?" You're so fine I must be dreaming.

Please don't go or else I will have to make a report to the cops....u stole my heart

Pull my finger.

Really like your peaches and I wanna shake your tree.

Say, didn't we go to different schools together?

Shall we talk or continue flirting from a distance? Smile if you want me!.

So, are you going to give me your phone number, or am I going to have to stalk you?

So, what do you like to do for fun? (Why?) 'Cause

I'm gonna ask you out.

So, you're a girl huh? Somebody needs to write explosive on you, cuz your the bomb!

Something tells me you're sweet. Can I have a sample?

Speak of the devil....or should I say "Angel"?

Stop, Drop, and Roll baby 'cause you're on fire!

Take a chance on me. (Talk to her) Did I ever tell you you're my hero?

You're everything I wish I could be? (Start Singing) I can fly higher than an eagle! (talking) Because (her name) you are the wind beneath my wings.

That's a nice watch [Thank you] Actually, that's a nice dress. [Again, thank you] Come to think of it, everything is nice on you.

The only thing your eyes haven't told me about you is your name.

There aren't enough "O"'s in the word "smooth" to describe how smooth you are.

There is much more here than what meets the eye.

There must be something wrong with my eyes, I can't take them off you.

There was no color in the world until I met you.

There's an aura about you that's hidden and I want to bring that aura out.

This is a test of the emergency pick up line service. Beeeeeeeeeep. If you had been any less beautiful, you would have just heard a bad pick up line.

This is incredible. This is the first time that this has ever happened tous. (What?) Each one of my 27 personalities found you cute!

This is your lucky day, because I just happen to be single.

Turn to the girl sitting next to you at the bar and say, "I'm not really this tall....I'm sitting on my wallet."(Walk over to her)"Ok, you can stand next to me, as long as you don't talk about it."

Walk up and say, "Yes?" "What?""Oh, my friend told me that you wanted to make out with me because I'm the finest thing you have seen all night."

Witty Quotes and Updates 10

Excuse me, but I may be lost... Can you give me directions to wherever you're going?

Excuse me, but I think I dropped something!!! MY JAW!!

Excuse me, but weren't we blissfully married in a past life?

Excuse me, but you have a beep on your nose. What? (reach up and gently squeeze her nose) BEEP. (If she laughs, she's yours; if she looks at you funny, apologize.)

Excuse me, do I need to buy a ticket for your fantastic voyage?

Excuse me, do you have change for a $100 bill? Excuse me, do you have your phone number, I seem to have lost mine.

Excuse me, do you think you might possibly have a mutual friend who could introduce us.

Excuse me, I don't want you to think I'm ridiculous or anything, but you are the most gorgeous girl/guy I have ever seen. I just felt like I had to tell you.

Excuse me, I just noticed you noticing me and I just wanted to give you notice that I noticed you too.

Excuse me, I think you have something in your eye. Nope, it's just a sparkle.

Excuse me, I'd like to have kids someday, and I wanted to know how your parents created such a beautiful creature.

Excuse me, I'm looking for a friend...do you want to be my friend?

Excuse me, is that your perfume that you are wearing?

Excuse me, mind if I stare at you for a minute? I want to remember your face for my dreams.

Excuse me... do you speak Klingon? For a moment I thought I had died and gone to heaven. Now I

 see that I am very much alive, and heaven has been brought to me.

Giant polar bear (What?) It broke the ice. Girl, you better have a license, cuz you are driving me crazy!

Girl: I may not be Mya but my love is like whoa Go up to the person and ask for their hand. Draw a line

 across it and explain that it"s a big river, and the bunny on this side (it doesn"t matter which side) really needs to get to the other side. Then tell the person how they think that bunny got across. And when they finally

 give up, give them puppy eyes and tell them that there was no bunny, but that you just wanted to hold their hand. (Awwwwww)

God must have been in a very good mood the day we met.

Good evening. May a thorn sit down amongst the roses?

Good news, the test results are negative!> Got me? I'll do your body good.

Grab them in the butt and ask, "Pardon me, is this seat taken?"

Great choice of clothes, they match the trim in the Jag

Guy: What's your name? Girl: Danielle Guy: Oh... I thought it was Aphrodite.

Guy: Can i see your hand? (he draws a little river then a bunny on one side and says he can't get to the other side because he will go glub glub glub.)

Gal: What was the point of that? Guy : Just wanted an excuse to hold your hand

Guy: Did I see u somewhere? Girl: No Guy: Then I must of seen you in my dreams! (works everytime)

Guy: I may not be Baby Bash but you're my suga

Has anyone ever told you that you have Scandinavian hands? (Uh, no.) No, of course not, that would be an incredibly stupid thing to say, wouldn't it?

Have you always been this cute, or did you have to work at it?

Have you been eating Cocoa Puffs? cuz I'm goin cookoo for you

Have you ever been to Hawaii? (No why?) Well it was the most beautiful thing

I've seen till I gazed into your eyes He: You look like my third wife. She: Oh, how many time have you been married? He: Twice.

Hello, I'm a thief, and I'm here to steal your heart.

Hello. Are you taking any applications for a boy/girlfriend?

Hello. Cupid called. He says to tell you that he needs my heart back.

Hello? Oh, your body was calling me from across the room.

Help, something's wrong with my eyes - I just can't take them off you.

Here's your chance to get to know me.

Hershey's makes millions of kisses a day...all I'm asking for is one

Hey babe, can I have your number? I think it'll look better in my pocket than in your head.

Hey baby you're so fine you make me stutter,wha-wha-what's your name?

Hey baby, where you been all my life? Hey baby, you are like a pot of gold... Hard to get and hard to hold.

Hey baby, you've got something on your butt: my eyes.

Hey baby... drop that zero and get with the hero in other words... you better come with me.

Hey kitten, how about spending some of your nine lives with me.

HEY!!!! Wanna go half on a baby?

Hey, come here often? You could, with me.

Hey, don't frown - you'll never know who might be falling in love with your smile.

Hey, don't I know you? Yeah, you're the girl/guy with the beautiful smile.

Hey, haven't I seen you before? I remember, it was in my dreams!

Hey, how did you do that? (What?) Look so good?

Hey, I lost my phone number ... Can I have yours?

Hey, Laura! (Big hug). I haven't seen you forEVER!!> (huge kiss) Wow, you've really changed! (I'm not Laura) What? Oh my God, you even changed your name!

Hey, somebody farted. Let's get out of here.

Hey, where did your smile go? (Check back pocket) Here it is!

Hey, you owe me a drink. (Answers): why? Or I do? ---Because I dropped mine when you walked past!

Hey, You were great on Bay Watch last night!

Hey... Didn't I see your name in the dictionary under "Kablaam"?

Hi, are you here to meet a nice man or will I do?> Hi, do you speak English? (yes.) Oh, me too.

Hi, I just wanted to give you the satisfaction of turning me down; go ahead say no.

Hi, I make more money than you can spend.

Hi, I need your help! My mom says that if I don't get a date by tomorrow, she's putting me up for adoption.

Hi, I'm a fashion photographer. Would you like to be in my next photo shoot?

Hi, I'm Batman. Wanna see my batmobile?

Hi, I'm Mr. Right. Someone said you were looking for> me.

Hi, my name's Right...Mr. Right.

Hi, the voices in my head told me to come over and talk to you.

Hi. Are you cute?

Hi. Can I domesticate you?

Hi. I suffer from amnesia. Do I come here often?

Hi. My name is {name}. I'm running for president in 2012. And I could sure use your vote. Here...write down your number and I'll call you to discuss my platform.

How is your fever? [What fever?] Oh... you just look hot to me.

How much did it cost? (What?) The surgery that made you so hot!

I believe that it was Socrates who opined, "Know thyself." Well, I already know myself, how about I get to know you?

I can read palms. {write your # on their hand} OOh it says your gonna call me soon!

I can see you. [Uh, yeah.] Great! Then how about tomorrow.

I didn't know that angels could fly so low!

I didn't know that Miss America lived here!

I don't know if you're beautiful or not, I haven't gotten past your eyes yet.

I don't know you, but I think I love you already.

I dropped a tear in the ocean, the day I find it is the day I'll stop loving you

I envy your lipstick.

I have a cat. She would really like to meet you.

I have had a really bad day and it always makes me feel better to see a pretty girl smile. So, would you smile for me?

I have only three months to live.

I heard that you have a good dentist. Mind if I try out his> work?

I hope you know CPR, because you take my breath away.

I just got dumped, and I think that you could make me feel better.

I just had to come talk with you. Sweetness is my weakness.

I just wanted to show this rose how incredibly beautiful> you are!

I knew that my life DID have a purpose, but not until I looked into your eyes.

I know I'm not a grocery item but I can tell when you're checking me out.

I looked up the word "beautiful" in the thesaurus today, and your name was included.

I lost my phone number. Can I have yours?

I may not be the best looking guy in here, but I'm the only one talking to you.

I must be a snowflake, 'cuz I've fallen for you.

I must be in heaven because I'm standing next to you!

I must be lost. I thought paradise was further south.

I never thought that heaven would be so close to me"

I play the field, and it looks like I just hit a home run with you.

I saw you, I had an asthma attack because you took my breath away!

I think I feel like Richard Gere - I'm standing next to you, the PrettyWoman.

I think I must be dying because I'm looking at Heaven.

I think my medication is wearing off.

I think you've got something in your eye. Oh never mind, it's just a sparkle.

I tried to find the perfect line to make you mine, sweetheart, but after searching all I could come up with was this look in my eyes and your hand in mine, and the words, will you be mine?

I want to bear all your children. (to a woman)

I want to spend the rest of my life with you.

I want you more then a Popsicle on a hot summer day I would love to be your tears, to be born in your eyes, live on your cheeks and to die on your lips.

I'd marry your cat to get in the family.

If a star fell for every time i thought of you, the sky would be empty.

If beauty were a grain of sand, you'd be a million beaches.

If beauty were sunlight, you'd shine from a million light-years away.

If beauty were time, you'd be an eternity.

If God made anything more pretty, I'm sure he'd keep it for himself.

If I could be anything I'd be a tear: Born in your eye, live on your cheek, and die at your lips.

If I could be anything, I'd love to be your bathwater.

If I could reach out and hold a star for every time you've made me smile,

I'd hold the sky in the palm of my hand.

If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put U and I together.

If I followed you home, would you keep me?

If I had a nickel for every time I've seen a woman as beautiful as you, I'd

Facebook Witty quotes and updates 9

I don't diet. I just don't eat as much as I'd like to." - Linda Evangelista, Supermodel

"He's a guy who gets up at> six o'clock in the morning regardless of what time it is." - Lou Duva, veteran boxing trainer, on the Spartan training regime of heavyweight Andrew Golota.

I"The largest crowd ever in the state of Las Vegas." - Mark Jones, TV Broadcaster

"Pitching is 80% of the game. The other half is hitting and fielding." - Mickey Rivers, baseball player

"I'm a 4-wheel-drive pickup type of guy. So is my wife." - Mike Greenwell, Baseball player

"If only faces could talk..." - Pat Summerall, Sportscaster, during the Super Bowl

"All of the Mets' road wins against Los Angeles this year have been at Dodger Stadium." - Ralph Kiner, NY Sportscaster

"Solutions are not the answer." - Richard Nixon, former U.S. President

"Permitted vehicles not allowed."- Road sign on US 27 "A bachelor's life is no life for a single man."- Samuel Goldwyn

"SAFETY FIRST: Please put on your seat belt - prepare for accident." - Sign on backseat of Taxi

"If history repeats itself, I should think we can expect the same thing again." - Terry Venables

Most Popular Pickup Lines 

Are you a parking ticket? (What?)

You got fine written all over you.

You make me melt like hot fudge on a sundae.

Can I borrow a quarter? ["What for?"]... I want to call my mom and tell her I just met the girl of my dreams.

Pick up a pack of sugar that actually says,"sugar" on it and say, "You dropped your nametag!".

What does it feel like to be the most beautiful girl in this room?

Do you believe in the hereafter? Well, then I guess you know what I'm here after.

Are your legs tired, because you've been running through my mind all day long. 

Do you have a Bandaid? Because I just scraped my knee falling for you.

There must be something wrong with my eyes, I can't take them off you.

Girl, you better have a license, cuz you are driving me crazy!

Hey baby, you've got something on your butt: my eyes.

Hi, I make more money than you can spend.

I hope you know CPR, because you take my breath away.

Damn, if being sexy was a crime, you'd be guilty as charged!

I must be in heaven because I'm standing next to you!

If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put U and I together.

You must be from out of space cause I can see the stars in your eyes.

If you were a booger I'd pick you first. Can I have directions? ["To where?"] To your heart.

Baby did you fart, 'cause you blow me away!

Hi, I'm Mr. Right. Someone said you were looking for me.

Turn to the girl sitting next to you at the bar and say.. "I'm not really this tall....I'm sitting on my wallet."

Do you believe in love at first sight, or should I walk by again?

When I saw you from across the room, I passed out cold and hit my head on the floor...so I'm going to need your name and number for insurance reasons.

You know what? Your eyes are the same color as my Porsche.

Do you have a map? Because I just keep getting lost in your eyes!

Is there an airport nearby or is that my heart taking off?

Do you have any raisins? No? How about a date?

All Pickup Lines

A son from your lips is an aria from heaven.

All this could be yours for one low, low price!

Apart from being sexy, what do you do for a living?

Are my undies showing? Answer: "No." You: "Would you like them to?

Are you a parking ticket? (What?) You got fine written all over you.

Are you a tamale? 'Cause you're hot.

Are you accepting applications for your fan club?

Are you an interior decorator? When I saw you the room became beautiful.

Are you as beautiful on the inside as you are on the outside?

Are you going to kiss me or do I have to lie to my diary?

Are you lost ma'am? Because heaven's a long way from here.

Are you Natasha, my contact? 

Are you religious? Good, because I'm the answer to your prayers.

Are your legs tired, because you've been running through my mind all day long.

Aren't we supposed to get together for a candlelight dinner later tonight?

Aren't you the tiger on the Frosted Flakes box? Cuz you look "Grrrreat!"

As she's leaving....Hey aren't you forgetting something? She: What? Me!

Ask a woman for the time. "10:30? So today is January 10,1999, at 10:30 PM, thanks I just wanted to be able to remember the exact moment that I met you."

Baby did you fart, 'cause you blow me away!

Baby, if you were words on a page, you'd be what they call fine print

Baby, somebody better call God, cuz he's missing an angel!

Baby, you must be a broom, cause you just swept me off my feet.

Baby, you're so sweet, you put Hershey's outta business.

Baby, you're the next contestant in the game of love.

Be unique and different, say yes.

Before you run, I am not a freak. Beww BEWWW Beww (What?) That is the sound of the ambulance coming to pick me up because when I saw you my heart stopped!

By the way the light is hitting your eyes, I can see myself in them, and damn, I look good!.

Can I borrow a quarter? ["What for?"] I want to call my mom and tell her I just met the girl of my dreams.

Can I flirt with you?

Can I get a picture of you so I can show Santa what I want for Christmas?

Can i get your picture to prove to all my friends that angels really do exist

Can I have directions? ["To where?"] To your heart.

Champaign can be tickly, and so can I.

(Close hand with nothing inside and give it to her)

It's my breath from when you took it away (open palm while saying this).

Coffee? Tea? Me?

Come live in my heart, and pay no rent.

Compared to you, the sun feels cold.

Could you do me a favor and tell your boyfriend he's a lucky man?

Damn, if being sexy was a crime, you'd be guilty as charged!

Did the sun come out or did you just smile at me?

Did you have Campbell's soup today? (she answers yes/no) Because you're lookin' mmm... mmm... good!

Did you hear the latest health report? You need to up your> daily intake of vitamin me.

Didn't I pick you up in the grocery store? 'Cause you're hot like salsa

Didn't I see you on the cover of Vogue?

Do you believe in love at first sight, or should I walk by> again?

Do you believe in the hereafter? Well, then I guess you know what I'm here after.

Do you eat lots of Lucky Charms? Because you look magically delicious.

Do you have a Bandaid? Because I just scraped my knee> falling for you.

Do you have a boyfriend? No. Want one?(if yes: Want another one?)

Do you have a map? Because I just keep getting lost in your eyes!

Do you have a sunburn baby, or are you always this hot?

Do you have any raisins? No? How about a date? 

Do you have room in your life for another friend?

Do you have the time? [Gives the time] No, the time to write down my number?

Do you know karate? 'Cause your body is really kickin'.

Do you like anyone else in here? Well, I guess you are> stuck with me.

Do you like music? (Yes) Good, I've got a great stereo system at home!

Do you like to dance? Well then, could you go dance so I can talk to your friend?

Do you mind if I stare at you up close instead of from across the room?

Do you remember Crayola Crayons? They used to have this color...Blizzard

Blue. It was my favorite color and I could never figure out why. But I just realized why, your eyes...Blizzard Blue. 

Do you want to see a picture of a beautiful person? (hold up a mirror)

Do your legs hurt from running through my dreams all night?

Does beauty run in your family?

Does Levi's pay you for wearing those and looking that good?

Does my breath smell okay?

Does your watch have a second hand? I want to know how long it took for me to fall in love with you.

Don't walk into that building -- the sprinklers might go off!

Don't you know me from somewhere?

Ever since I met you, you've lived in my heart without paying any rent

Excuse me miss, I don't mean to stare, but um I think you're really Beautiful"

Excuse me miss... Do you have a cigarette? Actually, I don't want one, I just wanted to start a conversation with you.

Excuse me miss? You dropped something back there? (As you look around you ask "where") Over there! (Ask again: "What did I drop?") He answers back: My jaw!

Excuse me, but did you happen to find my Nobel Peace Prize?

Excuse me, but do you have tickets? (Tickets for what?) (Points to arm and flex) To the gun show!

Excuse me, but I DO think it's time we met.

Facebook witty quotes and updates 8

Silence is Golden, but shouting is fun.

When your a fat little kid, there are no more see-saws...only catapults

The World Is Full Of Asses Your Just The Biggest

"The difference between genius and stupidity is that genius has its limits."

"If you cant dazzle them with brilliance, baffle them with bull"

"Life is a role of toilet paper; long and useful"

The difference between a bad golfer and a bad skydiver is this: A bad golfer goes **WHACK** DANG! A bad skydiver goes DANG! **WHACK**"

"I love humanity. It's people I can't stand."

"Anybody here who believes in telekinesis, raise my hand."

"I got lost in thought. It was unfamiliar territory."

All my hard work has boiled down to two things "May I take your order" and "Would you like fries with that"

Humpty Dumpty sat on the wall, Humpty Dumpty had a great fall, and all the kings’ horses and all the kings’ men...ate scrambled eggs for 2 weeks

Born in heaven, raised in hell

A heart is not a plaything A heart is not a toy But if u want it broken Just give it to a boy

Beauty is just a light switch away!

Auntie ‘Em: Hate you, Hate Kansas, taking the dog~Dorothy

"I am not short, I just don't have to bend down as far"

I have the body of a god... unfortunately its Buddha -Abigail Silverman-

"Time flies like an arrow, while fruit flies like a banana."

If you are going to send someone to save the world, make sure they like it the way it is. - Xander in the movie XXX stupid qoutes

 "Sure there have been injuries and deaths in boxing - but none of them serious." - Alan Minter, Boxer

"I think that the film Clueless was very deep. I think it was deep in the way that it was very light. I think lightness has to come from a very deep place if it's true lightness."- Alicia Silverstone, Actress

"How to store your baby walker: First, remove baby." - Anonymous Manufacturer

"This is no longer a slum> neighborhood. I haven't heard of a Cubs fan being shot in a long time." -Anonymous Wrigley Field Neighbor, Chicago, I

"During the scrimmage, Tarkanian paced the sideline with his hands in his pockets while biting his nails." - AP report describing Fresno State basketball coach Jerry Tarkanian

"Two grand slams in a week - man, that's seven or eight ribbies right there."- Bill Madlock, Baseball broadcaster

"You guys line up alphabetically by height." - Bill Peterson, Florida State football coach

"Men, I want you just thinking of one word all season. One word and one word only: Super

 Bowl." - Bill Peterson, football coach

"The internet is a great way to get on the net." - Bob Dole, Republican presidential candidate

"I get to go to lots of overseas places, like Canada." - Britney Spears, Pop Singer

"Most cars on our roads have only one occupant, usually the driver." - Carol Malia, BBC Anchorwoman

"The team has come along slow but fast." - Casey Stengel, Baseball player/manager

"I think the team that wins Game 5 will win the series. Unless we lose Game 5." - Charles Barkley, NBA Basketball Player

"China is a big country, inhabited by many Chinese." - Charles De Gaulle, former French President

"Football players win football games." - Chuck Knox, football coach

"Most lies about blondes are false." - Cincinnati Times-Star, headline

"If you give a person a fish, they'll fish for a day. But if you train a person to fish, they'll fish for a lifetime." - Dan Quayle, former U.S. Vice President

"It is wonderful to be here in the great state of Chicago" - Dan Quayle, former U.S. Vice-President

"It's time for the human race to enter the solar system!" - Dan Quayle, former U.S. Vice President on the concept of a manned mission to Mars

"I love California, I practically grew up in Phoenix." - Dan Quayle, former U.S. Vice President

"Strangely, in slow motion replay, the ball seemed to hang in the air for even longer." - David Acfield

I haven't committed a crime. What I did was fail to comply with the law." - David Dinkins, New York City Mayor, answering accusations that he failed to pay his taxes.

"The only reason we're 7-0 is because we've won all seven of our games." - David Garcia, baseball team manager

"Sit by the homely girl, you'll look better by comparison." - Debra Maffett, Miss America 1983

 "We don't like their sound. Groups of guitars are on the way out." - Decca Records Rejecting the Beatles, in 1962

"Chemistry is a class you take in high school or college, where you figure out two plus two is 10, or something." - Dennis Rodman, NBA Basketball player, on Chicago Bull's team chemistry being overrated

"We're just physically not physical enough." - Denny Crum, Louisville basketball coach

"Weather forecast: precipitation in the morning, rain in the afternoon." - Detroit Daily News

"The doctors X-rayed my head and found nothing." - Dizzy Dean explaining how he felt after being hit on the

 head by a ball in the 1934 World Series.

"Can you get a ticket for running a stop sign that is not there?" - Driver school applicant

 "The world is more like it is now then it ever has before." - Dwight Eisenhower

"A billion here, a billion there, sooner or later it adds up to real money." - Everett Dirksen, Congressman

"Boxing’s all about getting the job done as quickly as possible, whether it takes 10 or 15 or 20 rounds." - Frank Bruno, Boxer

"The streets are safe in Philadelphia. It's only the people who make them unsafe." - Frank Rizzo, ex-police chief and mayor of Philadelphia.

I have opinions of my own --strong opinions-- but I don't always agree with them." - George Bush, former U.S. President

"It is white." - George W. Bush, when asked what the White house was like by a student in East London

"If it weren't for electricity we'd all be watching television by candlelight." - George Gobel

"If you think is was an accident, applaud." - Geraldo Rivera, talk show host, to his audience on Natalie Wood's drowning

"I cannot tell you how grateful I am -- I am filled with humidity." - Gib Lewis, speaker of the Texas House

"Does the album have any songs you like that aren't on it? - Harry News, music reviewer

"Coming on to pitch is Mike Moore, who is six-foot-one and 212 years old."- Herb Score, Sportscaster

"I do not like this word "bomb." It is not a bomb. It is a device that is exploding." - Jacques le Blanc, French ambassador on nuclear weapons

"I don't want to ever, ever do something in life that isn't fun. Ever."- Jennifer Love Hewitt, Actress, in the February Cosmopolitan.

"We're going to move left and right at the same time." - Jerry Brown, Governor of California

"I have a God-given talent. I got it from my dad."- Julian Wakefield, Missouri basketball player

"Traditionally, most of Australia's imports come from overseas."- Former Australian cabinet minister Keppel

 Enderbery